"I want your New Year’s resolution to be you telling me information willingly without me having to rip it out of you like I’m raping you every night"
— David, directed towards me because I actually enjoy sitting in silence sometimes
(so old I have no idea where it came from) You’re too cute.
Thank you, I sacrifice a goat daily to remain eternally young.
What are you majoring in?
Well, Radiation therapy which I feel into because I pussed out freshman year and decided I wasn’t going to become a pediatrician. but I enjoy it a lot, so I’m happy.
Suck it Trebek.
Amber, I’m taking away your TV privileges for the week
(via mothmilk)
You Can’t Leave Me!!
I’m With Child!!
i can’t stop laughing
how much?
I have never been more terrified and amazed at the same time
- Amber: How was your day today?
- Me: Crappy, I had to cut 60 boxes of corn
- Amber: What?
- Me: I had to cut 60 boxes of corn
- Amber: Oh I thought you said you bought 60 boxes of porn.
Very tired from work, happen to be stuck on floor
"We should be drunk right now"
— David [1:28 AM]
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